Thoughts Of a D&C Over a Glass of Orange Espresso

Kaye Leah
6 min readFeb 15, 2023

“There’s a crack in everything, that is how the light gets in.”

Leonard Cohen

Out of Whack

What sucks about turning 40 is that your body goes out of whack. Three-week-long heavy periods led me here. For a year, that’s been one of some discomforts.

“You’re 40. This is normal.” I remember telling myself this one morning when I had no choice but to buy a pair of black trousers, anxious and stressed because the pad I was wearing had given up on me. My only mistake that day was not putting on maternity pads. I had to get this done quickly because people at work were waiting.

Going through whatever hung on the racks, I felt even worse because I knew I’d needed a pair with a 30+ waistline. The annoying weight gain is another thing that nags, you know? I can say, “I was thin once,” (10 years ago) and be happy with savoring that moment. But when the daily routine includes feeling stuck and stressed when deciding what to wear, happy thoughts can be depressing. Many times, saying “Oh, well. It is what it is,” helps shift the perspective.


On July 2022, I needed to complete the pre-employment medical requirement. Writing “40” as my age on the form means additional tests like an ECG and more blood chem tests…



Kaye Leah

I write anecdotes as cinnamon & nutmeg for everyday conversations. #kapekaye