Life is calling upon me to write…
I have been holding back for so long. Why? Well, simple. At times I’d feel that I am not qualified, that I don’t have enough credentials. I’d be bothered by what others may think about what I write. But if we talk about heart, well, undoubtedly, I’ve got it. I have always had it.
I have been a citizen of this world for about three decades and I know I still have much to learn, and much to conquer. One thing I know for sure, though… writing, to me, is imperative and noble. It is a basic need in life to survive and remain the person we are, most specially in thought and soul.
A few months ago when I was rummaging through my personal files, I came across pages of my journal when I was about nine or ten years old. Instantly, my younger self was awakened and I felt my heart smile. I went on flipping through the pages which led to reading all the other journals I have kept. I may have more than twenty already and I just know that if someone finds them and reads through them, all of who I am would be figured out and I think that is one reason why I fear writing. Who I am is exposed and my alter-ego, unmasked. I don’t think anyone would be comfortable in bringing down defenses that way.
I believe people hide behind fortresses because of what life causes. We have our own defense mechanisms and people have creative ways to cope. It is difficult to really know who and what hides behind masks. But just recently, while going through life’s most challenging experiences, I have learned that there is something much better than life itself and with that, I find comfort.
“Your love is better than life.” Psalms 63:3
This, to me, speaks of so much. I can find comfort in knowing that whatever life brings, we can find some sense of stability, a solace, a cozy nook. Similarly, this is how I feel whenever I write.
So, therefore, since I feel that I have gone beyond the phase of hiding; beyond feeling unworthy to express through the written word; beyond considering what others perceive me as; finding urgency in sharing what I think about things, I consider myself a writer.
I write because Life summons me to. I know by heart that I have something to say and that it will most definitely matter to someone, whoever and wherever he or she may be. That’s that.
